Compassionate and supportive partners treat each other more affectionately, express empathy and learn that compromise differs from sacrifice. You can realistically come to a compromise without sacrificing an ideal or virtue. Picking the ideal partner can be a make-or-break-your-happiness deal. Women in leadership roles should recognize early on that their life partners should be committed to being fully supportive of their careers. To know you is to love you in all your splendor.
I received a few emails over the weekend from career driven women that have clearly identified what they wanted and needed but are having a hard time getting there. One is divorcing, one has been married for 9 years and the other is single. We engaged in a series of conversations to which I offered simply a different perspective to their dilemma. They all had something in common within their relationships. They had all evolved as people and as such were finding difficulty balancing life, work and relationships.
Far be it from me to be the expert in all things relationship oriented. I have always maintained my perception that each individual situation is just that, individual to you and there cannot be a standard template to how we manage. We can however share our experiences with each other and build on our thoughts, ideas, failures and success in an attempt to help one another. For me, I have come to several conclusions over the years that have allowed be to better understand the needs versus the wants. This can mean friendships as well. So if you’re starting off new, here are a few things that I have made a priority for myself when determining if someone is in fact a suitable fit for me.
- Be friends with each other first. Your friendship will last longer than your hormones. (lol)
- Are you a giver? Givers love hugs, affection and even some public displays. The same way they like to give it. Recognize early on that if that is your personality type more than likely you should be with someone that enjoys the engagement.
- Be honest with yourself and your partner about your goals and aspirations. Be on the same page
- Communication is key. Discussing things and understanding that people evolve in a relationship will allow you to grow together
- Use your time as a single person to get to know and respect yourself. It can be easy to lose yourself in a haze of romance. Take advantage of your alone time to determine what you want in your life, career and future relationships. Nurturing your mind and spirit is essential.
- Finally, look at your partners’ relationship with their parents. It can in many cases reveal a magnificent amount of information regarding family values, support and religion
There is no perfect remedy or solution. Everything is learned in time and the only thing constant is change. Be honest with yourself and remember that compromise does not equal sacrifice. You create your own happiness.