The Shade Room

The Shade Room

Through the years my readers have experienced my positive outlook on less than jovial situations. An optimistic outlook on love, relationships, politics, and current events. This is not going to encompass that. It’s an homage to the “Haters” the judgement mongers” and the “friendship posers.” 
The last year has been quite possibly the most difficult time of my life. I was forced to deal with impossible situations and unalterable circumstances. A turn of events that nothing in life could have prepared me for. I have had more than just a few friends whom have experienced conditions equal if not just as excruciating as those that I have been forced to face. I am sincere when I say I wish they didn’t have to. The long sleepless nights, the emptiness of forcing yourself to accept a situation you cannot change and the reality of coming to grips that this journey is yours and yours alone to manage. 
So how do you do that? Well, you do the best you can with the hand you are dealt, and sometimes, that “Best you can” is the worst possible choice. It’s the worst possible choice, because you have never been here before. Your body creates new defense mechanisms to cope with the reality your facing. When I have experienced friends and acquaintances for that matter in similar situations I tried to extend my hand. They may not have always wanted it, but at least I let them know I was there. The people who really know me, understand that my mind, heart, soul and home have always been a judgment free zone. I don’t care what you do or how you do it, I will always try to be impartial and attempt to understand what led you to that choice. If given the opportunity, I might even offer my two cents and remind you that regardless of the circumstance, my door is open.
So here I am now, coming to the realization that although I needed help, an open ear, and even an honest scolding, I never got it. My downward spiral kept swiftly orchestrating its way into a bottomless pit of self-destruction. 
Then a new set of circumstances began to emerge that were inconceivable to me. There they were. The “Judgmental Judy’s and “Friendship Posers.” The bottom feeders around me who either thrived on my misery by speaking in judgement, or idly stood by and watched them do it. Then suddenly, with my back against the wall, and the bottom ready to fall out from under me a light bulb went off. 
I need to suck it up and deal. Thankfully, and in the interim I have learned a hard lesson. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Maya Angelou 
All of these people I thought were ride or die weren’t. Now, I am not oblivious to the fact that people are going through their own things as well. I get it. But it’s other things. How quickly we forget who stayed up with you nights at a time thru your turmoil. Who held your hand when your family member way dying. How quickly we forget who always comes thru for your kids when you need it for your family when they need it. How quickly we forget when people tried to drag your name thru the mud, who stuck there neck out and said, “Shut your mouth or I will shut it for you.” I am throwing shade at you. But the worse one’s; the gossiping, self-centered liars and the people who believed them. You don’t know this woman’s journey and the book she is writing in the process, so don’t judge my story based on the chapter you walked in on.

The Lola Chronicles

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