Habits can arise through repetition. They are a normal part of life. However, pleasure based habits are more difficult to break. All of us can relate and identify a pleasure based habit that is of an unhealthy nature. Perhaps it is over-eating or drug addiction; sex addiction or addictions to social media or smoking. Even radical religious fanaticism can become a habit. These are but a few things that can cause routines to become bad habits. What if that habit is a toxic or negative relationship? What if that habit if forgetting you are part of life’s equation? Breaking that habit can lead to renewal and rediscovery of self.
In my case, I needed to recognize that not everyone within my circle deserved to be there. Holding on to unhealthy relationships simply because I felt the person needed assistance was hindering both of us as opposed to helping. Continuing to involve myself with persons who only saw the negative aspects of life was casting a shadow on my sunlight. Staying in relationships that did not feed my emotional, physical or spiritual well-being had become habit and falling out of LOVE with myself had become the norm. The ego loves instant gratification, and helping someone in need does that. There comes a point in time in which the person you need to take care of is yourself. It’s not selfish but empowering.
Something has happened and my journey has changed. The negative people had started to weigh me down and I could no longer remain stagnant when I have so much to give to my faith, my children, myself and my community. I’m trying my best to do it gracefully and with love. Recognizing that I have no obligations other than that to myself and my family was a daunting task, but the ramifications of continuing to allow myself to deteriorate through selfless acts was far more unsettling.
I had encountered a bump in the road. Ignoring what was the true complication and throwing myself into the problems of others; a deflection of sorts that had become a recipe for disaster. The result; forgetting a very important rule. “You come first.” We are not a victims of circumstance but can be based on how well or badly we handle them. You can always improve your situation if you make the choice to confront it head on. Do it with calm and endurance and love of self. Saying yes to everyone means saying no to yourself and that is unacceptable. Remind yourself of your greatness and your ability to use your mind and spirit to empower yourself. Take a little time out to bear in mind that you are a gift and being blessed to live another day should not be taken for granted. You are worthy and the only person that needs to recognize that is you. You can be proud and humble all at once. You cannot give the power of loving you and your greatness to someone else. That job belongs to you. Take a little time to smell the roses and remind yourself that the trial is not as important as the victory once you recognize that by loving yourself you have already won.
The Lola Chronicles.